Increasing the Love

I love you and I've never met you.
I miss you and I've never had your company.
I long for your hugs and I've never known your embrace.
I look for you although I've never seen your eyes.
I fear for you,
I'm protective of you,
and I can't even stand between you and the world.
I know you are there and I can't quite reach you.
I'm waiting for you and I don't know how long till you are here.

I can hear your heartbeat in the echo of my own
Your laughter is blended with the children in my home
I imagine your thoughts when my mind goes astray
Your words won't go unheard and you'll never be alone

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I hate waiting. Waiting scares me...as if what I want so badly will scatter in the winds of time. I can feel this child. It sounds crazy and maybe even cliche, but they are with me. Their spirit mingles with mine. Do he or she feel me too? If they do, do they know what that means? Do they recognize my heartbeat that lingers at the fringes of their consciousness? Will they know me when we meet?

How long will this take? My baby is alive and living in a world I cannot control, and I cannot protect them...not yet. The cost of this is my heart, mine and my family's. It has to be. The greatest gifts must cost...they are worth every beat, every pulse, every tear, every fear, every part of what makes one a parent...every part of what makes one a piece in a family.

Oh sweet little one, it may be years for you to understand or know, but we pray for you...not just to be ours, for that would be amazing, but for your heart, your safety, your life, your mind, your body, and your soul. Every part of you is thought about.  We want you to know you were loved before we met you. You are so worthy, so valuable, so precious. We want to be what you need and we want to love you without abandon. Yes, we will adopt you, but you will adopt us too.