Strength vs. Fragility

Strength vs. Fragility...

Throughout my lifetime I have thought of myself as a strong person.  I thought I was strong due to my life experiences, traumas and challenges.  I really thought that nothing could really break me...maybe I would struggle, but not completely fall apart.  I found that what I thought was strength was merely an illusion.  Life caught up and I found myself broken...again, but more so.  I was grasping at the pieces that were surrounding me, desperate to put them back together.  Come to find out, you can't put them back the way they were...sometimes the pieces change shape and you have to make something new.  It's discovering what new is and what is it supposed to look like.  Time has passed and I've finally grasped who I am...who I've become, and I'm in a good place.  So, I asked my husband what he thought of me...and his response, "You're still fragile".  So here it is..."strength" is relative and "fragility" is reality.  Life is fragile, moods are fragile...relationships are fragile.  All of these can be broken fairly easily.  We were never meant to be completely independent when it came to strength, or anything of this world for that matter.  We were meant to rely on His strength.  It's a freedom that I welcome...I don't have to be the strong one, I don't have to have all of the answers, I don't have to always say the "right" thing.  I just have to trust that whatever happens, it's redeemable.  This freedom does come with a price.  You have to be ok with being vulnerable.  You wanna know something?  We are all vulnerable; we are all fragile.  Just because we put on a good face and convince ourselves and those around us otherwise, doesn't make it true.  We will break, but we will also be put back together.  We will be hurt, but we will be healed.  We will struggle, but we will also learn.  We will change and we will never be the same...and that's ok.